Forgiveness

This is a respose I made to a post by Josh Wong, entitled "For When You Mean It: But Have Trouble Expressing It". I thought it would serve as a good post on my blog.

... There is a lull time between the apology and the forgiveness. My suggestion is not to wait to give an apology. If you mean it, give it. Don't wait.

Now, because we are human, forgiveness may take some time. This is different than what the Bible says about Christ's forgiveness. When we ask for forgiveness, God forgives us without question. But even though women (and men) strive to forgive and forget, it’s much more difficult to do. Why? Because feelings were hurt. This is not just restricted to women. What women most desire from men is love. What men most desire from women is respect. When men mess up, women see it as unloving. When women mess up, men see it as not showing respect. If you don't believe me, think about it the next time something happens.

Back to my point about that lull time. After you (a man) gives an apology (and mean it), use that lull time to show love, instead of trying to figure out why they are not responding the way you would want. Some may have heard of it, but there is something called the "Five Love Languages". They are:

1) Word of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Acts of Service
4) Gifts
5) Physical Touch

The key is figuring out what your woman is most receptive to (by communicating with her and asking her, preferably before any problems) and full-filling this language during that lull time. I know this sounds like it came out of a book, (probably has) but this is something I heard from women. Eventually, the woman will forgive (and mean it) when she can understand her feelings correctly and do whatever else they do during that time. The same thing goes for men. Except they are driven by respect. Their lull time is much shorter, for whatever reason, but the principle is the same. If they are shown respect, they will forgive and respond with love. It’s an endless cycle that needs to be met, even if only one sided for a short while. Ultimately, when you’re married, you’re supposed to live for the other person, and fulfill your spouse's needs before yours.